A Father's Legacy

In a snowy manager from NJ Jesus Christ our savior is born!

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Since 1987 the Madonna House has been collecting clothing, toys and money to give to the poorest among us. This Christmas Eve the Madonna House does not have enough toys to give to children who are in need.

Happy Child At Christmas

Recipient of a Christmas Present from the Madonna House

Christmas is for kids and my children are fortunate enough to have gifts under their tree this year. So tonight I asked my daughter Emily “If you knew there was a little boy or girl who would have no gifts under their Christmas tree would you give them one of yours?” She replied yes Daddy I would. It brought a tear to my eye.

Emily Gifts

Gifts Emily Thought a Little Girl Would Like

My request to you is simple if you think your son or daughter would help out another child please take a new toy of yours to The Madonna House today.

The Madonna House is open on Wednesday December 24th from 10am until 2pm. They need any gifts that you can provide to make the dream of another child come true.

They are located at:
501 State Rte 35, Neptune, NJ‎ – (732) 775-1140

Read about their mission here:
http://www.themadonnahouseinc.org/

Merry Christmas

A Father

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Here he is the “Future Millionaire Next Door”. I am pleased to report that my son Christian is turning out to be a very responsible young man with his money.

Reconciling the Visa Buxx Debit Card

Christian balancing his “Visa Buxx” debit card from his monthly statement.

Saturday, Christian left the house with his Mom and sister to head up to my Sister in-law Maria’s house. With a blizzard coming up the coast, the kids wanted to go sledding with their cousins on Sunday morning after a predicted massive dumping of snow.

They scoured the basement and shed looking for the snow tubes and plastic sleds. Christian found one sled but had it in his mind he needed a snowboard to truly rip through all the powder.

What a Gaper!

Above is Christian trying to snowboard on a plastic sled.

In snowboard terms Christian would be called a “Gaper” pronounced Gay-per. Essentially an inexperienced boarder who is attempting tricks they shouldn’t be doing. You can read the full definition of “Gaper” at the “Snow Boarding Dictionary“ here: http://www.abc-of-snowboarding.com/snowboarddictionary.asp

To us “Handy Dandies”, (read fat old guys on skis carving all over the place and cutting people off) running, jumping, and using a sled like a snowboard is an impressive act.

I have digressed; now back to the main point of the story “The Future Millionaire Next Door.”

Millionaire Next Door

“The Millionaire Next Door” has become a source of financial hope in my library of self help material. I first listened to the book by William D. Danko back in 2004 after having to go work for a living. Since then I have become obsessed with wanting to retire. This working for a living thing sucks!

In the book the author describes his findings of his research on the characteristics of millionaires. The ironic thing is most millionaires are not living an extravagant lifestyle as Robin Leach would have you believe in his show “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.” If you are too young to remember this show read about it here: Lifestyles of the Rich and famous.

Danko tells us that millionaires learn to live below their means. They buy used cars, invest their money and allocate their funds efficiently. Now in a culture of earn-and-consume these people are just freaking weird! Don’t get me wrong, I am not taking a “holier than thou” stance with money, I love to “Earn and Consume.” Hell, that’s been the problem my whole life. Earn and burn everything you got and then some, shout out to my Homies Bank of America, Chase, Citi Bank and on and on and on…

So this year we decided it was time that we teach the kids some basics about managing their money. We started by reinstating allowance. However instead of making allowance an entitlement we decided to adapt Dave Ramsey’s strategy from “Financial Peace Jr.” click to read more about it:  Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace Jr.

Allowance is now based on commission. Christian and Emily have jobs to do around the house that if performed will garner them wages twice a month. They have a checklist of duties to do on the refrigerator. If they can get sign off on the work, they get money. The thing that I like best about this strategy is, you don’t work you don’t get paid.

On pay day we all sit around the table and go over the duty sheet. Payment is rendered in cash. I like to get singles from the bank. Ten one dollar bills, seems like a lot of money when you get it all at once.

Envelopes for Cash plus Passbook Savings

After getting their cash, Christian and Emily then disperse the money into one of three envelopes. The envelopes are titled “Giving, Savings and Spending.” We use the spending envelope for short term purchasing goals. The savings envelope is used to put money in their passbook savings accounts. Finally the giving envelope is for donating money into the church collection plate.

In addition to the plans outlined above, we have added an incentive to sweeten the deal. And by the way this is my favorite part of the whole strategy. We call the incentive the “Bonus Pool”. And it’s modeled after what happens in the office every year.

Every two weeks I take $25.00 cash to pay both Christian and Emily. However their pay is actually only $10.00 each. The extra $5.00 is available for anyone who does more than they are responsible for. For example last month I needed the freezer cleaned. Christian took all of the frozen food out, organized it and scrubbed the freezer with a sponge and Clorox Cleanup. The thing was spotless after he was done. The best part, it only cost me $3.00 payable from the bonus pool. Now for me that’s a bargain, for him it’s a Bonus.

Christian has proven over the past several months that he is very responsible with his money. He has managed his cash, savings and even a debit card he has for online game purchases. This kid gets it. But, today while I was doing the bills I looked at his spending envelope. There was a withdrawal for $43.00. I called my wife up to see what Christian was doing with $43.00. It was unusual for him to take out so much money at one time.

Anastasia then related the story to me which brought me to my post:
“The Future Millionaire Next Door.”

Christian impulsively took all $43.00 of his spending money from his envelope to go buy a snowboard at Toys R Us. He really wanted to enjoy himself today with his cousins in the snow. The toy store had a snowboard advertised for $20 that was flimsy and looked as if it would break after one or two uses. However he was determined to buy a snowboard today and took the it to the register.

Cheap Toys R Us Snowboard

When the cashier rang up all of the items the total came to $91.00. Christian’s mouth dropped. Now that total was his snowboard plus some items my wife was picking up for Christmas gifts. However, Christian asked the cashier how much the snow board was, she told him $29.95. He wisely rethought his impulsive spend and told the cashier he didn’t want the snowboard. There was no way he was blowing his 30 bucks on that thing. You go boy!

I am proud to say my son came home with $36.00 of the original $43.00. $7.00 went to drinks and candy for his sister and himself.

Being frugal with your money is only one part of the millionaire equation. Allocating, planning and making good decisions all attributes of a millionaire. I am pleased that Christian is developing these skills at the age of 11.

So keep a lookout for “The Future Millionaire Next Door”, he’s planning, allocating and watching every penny he has to spend at a Toys R Us near you!

A Proud Father

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Well my first philanthropic event is under my belt. I am so happy at how well it went. My goal was to raise $1500 to help 29 families who are dealing with pediatric cancer. In just 8 days we were able to raise over $2000! We turned that Mother out baby!

If you haven’t read about the campaign here is the back story:

A Father’s Legacy > A Time to Give

Below is a picture of me and Izola Fix from the Emmanuel Cancer Foundation posing with 29 gift cards for Christmas.

29 $50 Gift Cards Merry Christmas!

With the excess money I purchased food cards to go to Joann Passantino at the ECF regional center in Wall Township NJ.

Now this wouldn’t have been possible without the help of many friends, colleagues and family members. Their generosity made another family’s holiday’s a little bit brighter. I was amazed at how many people gave money when the whole country is still deep in a recession. That is a true testament to the spirit of Christmas.

Let me take a moment to publicly say thank you to everyone. Everyone who gave and everyone who had an encouraging word to tell me. Thank you! I am truly blessed to know so many generous people.

Ok, it was hard for me to ask for help and it’s even tougher for me to accept that help from someone else. I know I cried many nights about having to ask for help when I was sick. And when all of our friends, colleagues and family helped it was overwhelming for me to accept their good will.

As the week unfolded it became clear to me that this was about more than just raising money. I heard heart wrenching stories from friends that I have known for years who never talk about these things. I heard stories of personal suffering and stories of people they know who are sick. My Doctor cried to me about her husband who needs a liver transplant.

I received encouraging words about my triumph over cancer and amazement on how affected my life was by it. The hardest day was when I called a friend to solicit a donation and I found him facing cancer in his family. That was hard, really hard.

I feel truly blessed to have shared so many experiences with my friends. I fell blessed to have listened to their suffering and blessed to have talked about mine. That fact helped me focus more on what “A Father’s Legacy” really can be. It can be a legacy of sharing, sharing with one another our pain, our fears, and our triumphs. This week was a triumph for me and for all of us. We came together to help others and that is a triumph. And in the process we may have helped each other a little too.

Now, the old me has already begun plotting and planning a strategy for the next two years of gift collecting. I am already deciding how “A Father” can make an even bigger impact with a little more planning and strategic work.

However, the new me is hoping and looking forward to the opportunity to share in the lives of many more people in the coming year. I am looking for the opportunity to make an even bigger impact into these new people’s lives. And I am looking forward to a better year for all of my friends, my colleagues and my family members.

Let’s pray together for a happy, healthy and prosperous 2010 for all of us.

God Bless and Merry Christmas

A Father

If would like to see what kind of help the ECF needs you can contact Joann here:

Joann Passantino
ecfeastern@aol.com
Emmanuel Cancer Foundation
1710 Highway 71, Suite 2
Wall, NJ 07719
732~282~2324

Emmanuel Cancer Foundation

Click to find out more about the Emmanuel Cancer Foundation http://www.emmanuelcancer.org/

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As I was driving to work the other day, I heard a commercial for the “Emmanuel Cancer Foundation” toy drive. The “Emmanuel Cancer Foundation” provides services to any New Jersey family whose child (up to 18 years old) has been diagnosed with pediatric cancer.

Emmanuel Cancer Foundation

Click Here to Donate Now

My experience with ECF and Cancer had me setting up a discussion board for them in 2006. Later that same year a close friend of mine lost his 9 year old son to cancer. That event was heart wrenching to say the least. Then in September of 2007 my family was affected when I was diagnosed with Lymphoma Cancer.

Pre-Cancer Diagnosis 09/2007

The picture below is of me during the holiday season of 2007 – 2008. This is after 4 rounds of intesnse Chemotherapy for Stage 4 Lymphoma Cancer.  Believe me this sucked. I felt as bad as I looked.

Battling Stage 4 Lymphoma Cancer

Moving on, I know what a big help our family, friends and community were to my wife and children when I was sick. It was amazing how everyone rallied around to help out with the kids, cooking dinner, and just being there for my wife when she needed a shoulder to cry on.

In addition to all that we even had friends stand online at Toys R Us for the 5am “Black Friday” mayhem so my kids could have a Wii under the tree for Christmas that year. I was moved to tears that so many people came out for my family.

Kids at Christmas 2007

So when I heard the commercial for “Emmanuel Cancer Foundation” toy drive I decided I needed to so something this year to “Pay it Forward.” I made calls for the next two days and finally got a hold of Izola Fix who heads up the ECF wish list program.

Izola told me some tear jerking stories of the 30 families, including 79 children she is trying to help out this year with their battle with Cancer. She told me that she is short some toys on her list and she really could use money to buy gift cards for the kids and families.

Gift List

• Learning Spanish – audio tapes level one and two at Barnes & Noble
• Monsters v. Aliens Disney DVD
• Gift Card to Footlocker for Sneakers
• Gold’s Gym 20lb. weight vest at Walmart
• Eye clops “Bionic eye”
• 100 trick magic set with suitcase
• baseball bag on wheels to put their bats and ball in
• books on audio tape (second grade level) child has disabilities and cannot see well
• Wii motion controller
• Nerf –Dart Tag 2 pack
• Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Hardened Edition – Xbox 360 game

Now in years past I may have been able to buy a lot of the toys on the list. However, after 10 months on unemployment and my nest egg scrambled, I am happy with the fact that there will be presents under my tree. However, I figured I could at least buy one toy on the list.

Then a voice inside my head went to work and reminded me of my blog and the 300+ people I personally know. Maybe I could ask each one of them for just a little. If I could get each person to give just $5.00 I could give the ECF $1500 to help 30 families. If a few people were more generous we could help out in an even bigger way.

So, I am asking each one of you to do something. Anything you can. Buy a toy on the list, donate some money. It’s for a worthy cause families dealing with Cancer. Even a little can go a long way to a family who is burdened with life altering moments. Click To Donate

If you would like to buy a toy email Izola, or my wife about what you are going to purchase. We will arrange the pickup. Click to Email

I have posted a link here for you to donate. Click it fill in how much you can afford and know that your money will help a family like mine. Click To Donate

Now we have to act quick Izola needs all of the Toys and gift cards by the 18^th of December.

If there is one thing you could do to help someone out this year, this is it.

God Bless and Merry Christmas

A Father

I have setup a Paypal account for you to donate. Please give what you can. All of the money we receive (less Paypal fees) will go directly to families in need during this Holiday Season. Click To Donate

Use the “Share on Facebook” link to forward on this post to your friends on Facebook.

Also please email anyone you know who could help out. Click here to mail to a friend

A Father Battling Back Christmas 2009

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Well Black Friday had me out at midnight tonight looking for some deals. Now I must admit this is the first Christmas that I have considered shopping on the day after Thanksgiving. With the recession on and money being tight around my house I really wanted to try and save some cash this year.

I went out at midnight to try and find some deals. My first stop was the new Best Buy store in Eatontown NJ.

The flyer I read online had me getting an XBox Elite with 6 games for $299.00. Now the fine print said there were only 12 actual bundle deals available at each store. The fine fine print actually read “choose 4 games out of the 6 listed.” Now EB Games is selling the same unit with 3 games for the same $299.00. So, with one free game to be had at Best Buy I was looking at a potential cost savings of around $35.00.

In preparation for the bargain I spoke to a few employees at the Eatontown NJ store on Wednesday. They informed me that they would be handing out tickets for the sale items at 3 am and that the store was going to open at 5am. They also let me know that I should come early to get online. They were expecting large crowds.

Now, before leaving on my midnight quest I had decided that I wasn’t going to wait online for 5+ hours just for 1 extra game. However, I did want to stop by to meet a few people who were crazy enough to camp out all night for a deal.

At 12 am Friday morning the line had already wrapped down and around the building. Most of the people were waiting for laptops. The lady who was first inline got there at 2pm Thanksgiving day. He wanted one of the deeply discounted TV’s.

Best Buy Line Eatontown NJ

Charlie, A.J. and Tom pictured below were my favorite guys on the line. They had a tent setup along side portable chairs. They sat on the chairs typing away on their laptops. When asked what they were buying they said whatever they could. That included laptops, TV’s and any other small electronic items. Their plan was to resell merchandise for near retail price after the sale. They were hustling.

Charlie, A.J and Tom the Hustlers

I left Best Buy in search of some bargains at Toys R Us. The store was opening at 12 midnight and I had a few items I wanted to get on sale there. One item was the Home Depot Tools. My cousin’s son Connor is really into tools. He is taking after “Pop Pop Richie.” The tools were on sale for $19.99. Now this is a good deal because on Amazon the same set it selling for $109.00.

Toy R Us

When I pulled into the lot at around 12:45 I had to drive around for a few minutes looking for a space to park I couldn’t believe how crowded the parking lot was. As I approached the entrance I got a warning from a couple to turn away, the lines were too long to checkout. I ran back to my car for my camera to document the madness.

Warning Warning Go Back!

When I first walked in the store the lines by the register didn’t seem so bad. So I went in deeper into the bows of toy mania. As you can see below the aisles were packed with people waiting to check out. Carts were filled to the top with bargains. When I asked one Mom if these toys were on her children’s Christmas list she commented “They are now!”

Toys R Us Maddness 1

There were 3 lines that were wrapping around the store converging on one point near the registers where the staff was doing there best to merge them into one. Looking at the pictures now they really don’t do justice to the amount of people that were crowded into the store. I really needed an overhead shot to see the winding and wrapping of the lines.

The craziest part of the whole thing was the registers went down for 45 minutes in the middle of all of this. People were fuming.

Toys R Us Madness 2

Two young lady early bird shoppers arrived at 9:30 pm to stand in line for one Zhu Zhu pet each for $9.99. On Amazon they are selling for $64.99. So at $9.99 that was a deal. However, like my other young entrepreneur friends at Best buy the girls were going to be selling their wares on eBay as soon as they got home.

ZHU ZHU Pets

Where was I when they taught “How to make your Christmas money in one night at Toys R Us or Best Buy” in school? The most sophisticated financial class I took in high school was Accounting 101. The subject matter was “How to balance your checkbook with the money we won’t tell you how to make.”

Now my favorite shopper of the night was Colleen. Besides for a happy smile, Colleen had two overloaded carts with all kinds of toy and games. She was there buying toys for under privileged children. The organization she works for is called the “The Long Branch Elves.” The “The Long Branch Elves” is based out of the Long Branch Public Schools. This morning she was there cleaning up on all the bargains. She had plans to come back later in the morning to cash in on some more savings.

Colleen Wave of Hope

I offered to help Colleen anyway I could. I figured I would post her email address and let any of you contact here to see how you could help out. If you have some time to deliver gifts, she could use your help. If you have cash to give, she could use your help. Lastly if you have a great idea how she could spread some more holiday cheer, email her, she would love to here from you. Here is her email address calcott@longbranch.k12.nj.us

Happy Black Friday and good luck getting your bargains!

A Father

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What’s the difference between Oats and Quick Oats?

Take a look for yourself.

Ba Boom!

According to Quaker Consumer Relations, “The only difference between Old-Fashioned Oats and Quick is that the Quick Oats are cut into smaller pieces to shorten the cooking time.”

Quaker Consumer Relations…I beg to differ.

Well for me the difference to me seems to be, one makes a nice bowl of oatmeal in about 1  minute, and the other one blows up the nice bowl of oatmeal in about 2 minutes.

A Father

Quaker Oats

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I arrived home from NJIT this evening and greeted my family. As I went to change I unbuttoned my shirt and noticed the image below. There was a red outline of where my cross and necklace had been around my neck.

Cross and Necklace

As the cool air began to hit my exposed skin I felt a burning sensation.

My wife Anastasia was on the phone with my mother in-law Gina. My wife told my mother Gina about what had happened. My mother in-law told her that this is God trying to send me a message. I immediately prayed for guidance.

What came to my mind was a letter that I needed to send to my wife’s cousin Enrico regarding the “Miraculous Medal.”

Here is a link to the letter I wrote.  Letter To Enrico

Not sure what this means.

A Father

Cross and Necklace Impression Up Close

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Enrico,

Sorry for the long delay in my response it was a challenge to translate your letter from Italian to English. However, I did get your message about learning the language. I want to push myself to read more and hopefully in the future I will be able to write to you in Italian. So thanks for your email.

I appreciate you and your wife Vincenza’s help in looking for the “Miraculous Medal.” I know that she is a very religious woman and it warms my heart that the two of you have taken the time to help me out.

I would like to share with you my history with the “Miraculous Medal”, and explain why I am looking for it now.

My first encounter with the Madonna was in the hospital. Saying the Hail Mary calmed my anxiety when I would face a new treatment or a test. Later I learned to pray the rosary with my wife Anastasia and Ginetta.

After the hospital the Madonna turned up on my front lawn. My friend Steve saw the “Miraculous Medal” in the dirt as he walked up to my house. He gave this medal to me and explained it’s history. I kept this medal in my wallet as a reminder to me of the Madonna.

As I have continued to seek spiritual guidance the Madonna has appeared to me in different places. Last month I saw a sign that read “Pray the Rosary”. The funny thing is I never see signs like that. I interpreted this as advice to pray. So I began to pray the rosary daily.

I wrote to you because I realized that the medal my friend found for me was not in my wallet. The thought that I lost the medal caused me to panic. However, I am hoping that it has left me to help someone else in need of guidance. This is why I am looking for the “Miraculous Medal” now.

I would like the medal to be something that I can look after daily. Since I put my cross on every morning, it makes sense that the medal matches my gold cross. As your wife pointed out, the size of the medal is not what’s important it’s what the medal represents that’s important.

Elio and I measured a medal that he had next to his cross. It measured 1.25cm x 2.25 cm and is gold.

I hope this answers your question and gave you more insight into my request. Thanks again for everything.

Miraculous Medal

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1 slice of ham, 2 thin slices of salami, 1 slice of cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion and  roasted red peppers on a hollowed out French bread. I would like to call it 4 points however I know it’s probably more!

Ham, Salami and Cheese

Compared to how much I used to eat it’s really like 4 points. I mean I would normally eat something at least twice that size. I would say a half inch or so of ham, 4 slices of cheese and  8 slices of salami. Probably if we were scoring that it would be about 28 points. So 1/7^th of what I used to eat.

I ate lunch early today. I am calling it early because of the time change. It was 10:30 which would have been 11:30 yesterday. However, I was starving and you know it’s kind of chilly and gloomy out today. Those are perfect eating conditions for us fat folks.

For those of you who don’t know about points. Weight Watchers has you score all your foods according to a points system. You are allowed so many points per day and if you stick within your limits you lose weight. And I must say I have lost over 25 lbs now using Weight Watchers online. I really love it.

Weight Watchers like any diet takes self control and discipline. The good thing about it is, you get to eat real food as long as you account for it. And being a food lover real food works well for me.

Now, lets move onto the points. I am going to score this sandwich for real using Weight Watchers online tools. http://www.weightwatchers.com/Index.aspx

1 Slice of lean ham – 2 pts
1 Slice of cheese – 2 pts
2 Paper thin Slices of Salami – 2 pts
¼ Loaf of French bread – 2 Pts
Lettuce, tomato, peppers and all the fixings – 0 pts
1 oz Lays baked potato chips – 2

Total Lunch – 10 Pts

Not bad, I must say I am full. However, that was about a 1/3 or my points for the day. Oh well it will be a salad later and steamed chicken and veggies for dinner.

A Father

Oh yeah… How could I forget a 4.5 oz piece of pumpkin pie for 7 points?
At least I weighed it on my Weight Watchers scale!

It was so yummy…..

Pumkin Pie is Yummy!

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